Faith, Family, Leadership, & Advice for My Kids
Thought I’d put this up just in case anyone ever wants to go on a cool trip. Miranda and I would be happy to be the guinea pigs – you pay and we’ll go to Fiji to check this place out for you – and we’ll even take plenty of pictures and tell you all about it (or write up a report for you) so you wouldn’t miss out on the best things they have to offer. Any takers?
[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sUbkQyZrpl4]
Miranda and I got to hang out with some friends who are missionaries a few weeks ago. Trey and Leigh Anne are some of the coolest people I know. Anyway, during our time together, Trey and I had a great conversation and he said something I wanted to share with you. I’ve caught myself sharing it in a few conversations since then already. (That means it’s something I really latched on to.) I can’t remember where he got the info, but I know it’s not original to him either. Anyway, here it is:
The changes that take place in most organizations over time can be defined by these stages:
1. A Man on a Mission – is how things get started.
2. A Movement – is formed as this man and his mission attract/involve other people who are passionate about the same things.
3. A Machine – is built as the movement grows. The loose organization of people decides to be strategic in planning and sets standards for how they will operate.
4. A Monument – is ultimately formed as people begin to expect certain behaviors/services from the machine. Unfortunately, machines break. Many times (if leadership is not careful and intentional) the maintenance of the machine begins to take precedence over the original mission. Financial resources which originally were intended for the mission are spent to support the machine. (85% of the average church budget is spent inwardly.)
In Trey’s description, he also said that the man who shared these ideas with him made it his goal to never become a machine. A movement of many men on mission can become a revolution, but a machine. . . .
These are ideas worth passing along. What do you guys think?
Tomorrow will be my 2nd official Father’s Day. My first with 2 children. Miranda was asking me what “Kasen and Kesleigh” could get me. (I put “quotes” around their names ’cause they have no concept of Father’s Day yet.) I really didn’t have a clue. I have everything I really need. I’m truly blessed beyond anything I ever imagined. I’ve been thinking about how I could answer her though. What do I want? Well, I’m not sure she can arrange for Kasen and Kesleigh to get it for me, but here’s what I want.
First and foremost, I want my children to grow up to be madly in love with Jesus.
I want my children to be “arrows” like Psalms 127:4 describes them – arrows attack the enemy in his territory and work to expand and advance the kingdom.
I want more time to be with my family and I want to have great experiences together.
I want to be able to provide for my family in physical, emotional, and spiritual ways.
I want to live as an example to my children by being a man of character who chases after God even if it seems crazy.
I want to laugh, play, and enjoy my bride and children by being truly present with them in everyday life.
I want my bride and children to know how much they are loved.
I want God’s grace to continue to grant me favor. I want to become an awesome husband and father and I understand that it’s truly a never-ending journey!
My list could go on and on, but I’ll stop here. I think I’ve communicated the main thing I was trying to say. Besides, I’ve gt the most amazing bride and children in the world. Is there really anything more I could want?
Lately I’ve been reading a book called “Sitting at the Feet of Rabbi Jesus.” So far, it’s a great book – all about the Jewishness of Jesus and the insights that come to the Scriptures when you understand Jewish culture. I’m loving it!!! (I’m hoping to write a blog later about the things I’m learning from it.)
Anyway, one of the insights that has jumped out at me is the relationship between a disciple and his rabbi. One of the sayings found in the Mishnah, Bava Metzia 2:11 is, “If a man’s father and his rabbi are both taken captive, a disciple should ransom his rabbi first.” – Now that’s amazing devotion! Disciples lived with their rabbis with the goal of becoming like them. They served them and attended to their personal needs with the goal of understanding not just the concepts that they taught, but the lifestyle with which they lived. A rabbi was once (recently) observed in Jerusalem walking in a bent-over position with a little shuffle. Behind him walked several other men (presumably disciples) in the same manner.
Earlier this week I was in the backyard watching Kasen as he ran around playing – pulling the wagon, collecting leaves, stooping down to pick up sticks on the ground or whatever he happened to notice, etc. (It’s a beautiful thing to watch a little boy discovering the world around him.) Anyway, as he played, I kicked at the ground – there was a specific spot where there was no grass and the mud had dried. Anyway, I was off in another world, kicking the ground, thinking about life and God and who knows what when I realized that Kasen had joined me to kick the ground. He was watching everything I was doing. He wants so desperately to be like his daddy and I must admit – that really scares me.
Scripture is pretty clear that Miranda and I are responsible for training up our children up in faith and teaching them. (Deut 6:6-9) Whoa! That means that for Kasen and Kesleigh – I’m the rabbi. What?!?! That’s crazy. God would put that kind of responsibility on me? I’m no rabbi. I haven’t had the training. I don’t have the knowledge. Or do I? I mean, it’s true I don’t have that kind of wisdom – but I have something better. The true rabbi, Jesus lived out the perfect example for me and for all His children (that includes my kids). The Holy Spirit also dwells within me and with His guidance. . . well. . . I’m hoping those are the things Kasen and Kesleigh will imitate – I’m hoping I can be better at modeling the behaviors that the Holy Spirit guides ’cause it’s definitely true. Kasen and Kesleigh will imitate me – even if all I’m doing is playing around in the dirt.
Prayer: Lord, I confess that I have played in the dirt for way too long. I don’t want to waste any more time though. Help me to build Your kingdom. Cover my children and draw them to Yourself so they can also join their parents and one day build Your kingdom too.
Friday night, it was time for Miranda and I to get Kasen ready for bed. We hadn’t begun our routine yet, but clearly he was getting sleepy. Our routine includes singing “Jesus Loves Me,” and then folding our hands to pray together, kisses for everyone, and then “Night-Night.” Anyway, I think he was ready before we were ’cause he walked over to us, folded his hands and said, “Che-zus.” Miranda and I looked at each other in disbelief at first, (wondering if “Che-zus” really meant “Jesus“) but were soon flooded with those proud parent emotions that go beyond understanding.
Miranda and I have made it our goal to raise children who are not only church-goers, but children who will truly be the arrows in our quiver described in Psalm 127:3-5. You know. . . we want our children to be offensive weapons in the hand of God. We pray they’ll be dangerous and will truly take ground for the Kingdom of God – infiltrating enemy territory and setting up outposts where God’s troops can base their operations. This was a beautiful moment for us. Kasen doesn’t talk yet. He says a few words – mama, daddy, door, dog, and now “Jesus.” The name that is above every other name. Jesus. Savior. Master, teacher, Holy, Lord, light, friend. . . .I could go on and on – Anyway, my son knows the name of Jesus (Now we’ve gotta help him understand who He is.) and that’s an answer to our prayers.
Prayer: Thank you God for allowing us the opportunity to have such an impact on the world by influencing our children. It’s such a joy and a pleasure. Show Miranda and I how to maximize that impact, and open our eyes to opportunities to tell our children more about You and Your great love, expressed in Jesus. Thank you for giving us these moments. These moments where we see that our efforts are worthwhile and are producing fruit. God, by being a father myself, I’m recognizing how You love me. I’d ask You to cover my children, Kasen and Kesleigh. Surround them with angels. Protect them from the evil one. Plant in them a desire to know more of You and to serve You wholeheartedly. Let them recognize Your love too. For Kasen, it’s just a beginning; but may the name of Jesus, be forever on his lips. May that name be comfortable in his mouth and overflow often. In the same way that I pray for him, let me be his example. Let the name of Jesus rest on my lips too. AMEN.
I wonder what the implications are that he said “Cheese” before he said “Jesus?”
One of the women in the office (Ginger) has some bluebonnets in her backyard and she invited us over to take a few pics. Here’s what we ended up with. (Click on the first one and then you can flip through them all.)
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I’ve been learning a few things over the past couple of days. We had to bring Kesleigh, our 4 week old baby girl, into Houston to the Texas Children’s Hospital last night. She’s was already on antibiotics and was running a fever of 101.5. By the time we got to the hospital, it was 103.1. Scary. . .they rushed her in to a doctor and began the process. I hate emergency rooms, ’cause I hate waiting in them – this time we didn’t wait, but it was still worse than any other time I’ve been in one. (I’d rather have had to wait ’cause that means it would have been a more minor thing.) Anyway, I had a moment last night, and a few times throughout the day today where God seemed to be speaking to me. He has been showing me over and over, that there’s nothing I can do. I’m her father. I’m supposed to cherish her, and protect her, and lead her, and keep her safe. But I’m no good – the bottom line is that I can’t do anything. Prayer is all I’ve got. God is all I’ve got. Ultimately, it’s completely in God’s hands. I trust Him and have tried to do so throughout my Christian life, but it never gets easier. Trusting Him with my baby girl?!?! That’s too precious. I don’t think I can do it. I can’t let go of her. I’m responsible. I’m her father. I’m supposed to protect her. I confess. I’ve probably held on too tightly to both she and my son Kasen. Maybe this whole experience is something God is gonna use to remind me that they’re really better off in His hands than mine anyway. He’s the one with all the power to actually do something. What can I offer? Ultimately, very little. . . . Unless I’m praying. Then I’m offering Him. Then I’m offering power. . . ultimate power. . . healing power. . .redemptive power!!
OK so now, we’re waiting. Kesleigh has had blood, urine, and even spinal fluid drawn. They are keeping her temperature down with tylenol and we’re waiting . . . 48 hrs for the tests to come back. We’re 24 hrs in and the cultures are all negative so far. (Thank you God!) Another 24 with clear cultures, and a few hours with no temp without tylenol and we might be on our way home tomorrow. That’s our hope. That’s our prayer. . . . I’m scared to even type this. . . .but I have to. . . . can I do it? . . . .
I trust You God and I know that You know my heart in this, but I’m also smart enough to know that I don’t know everything. My prayers might not be what’s best for Kesleigh. Or maybe You just want to use her situation to glorify Yourself in some other way. . . so God. . . . with fear and trembling. . . and faith . . . I’m praying for You to do whatever You want to do with her. I’m gonna do my best to trust and to stand by You no matter what the outcome. I’m placing her in Your hands. She is truly Yours anyway and I know she’s better off with You. Help me to understand my role and to be the father that You’re calling me to be. Help me to truly represent You to her. AMEN.
PS – I wish I could communicate the number of tears shed in praying that prayer – in letting go of my baby – and the truth is, even with my tears and all my sincerity, I know there’s more “letting go” to do. I’m still holding on. Maybe this is a good first step though?
I figured it’s time to post a few more pics of Kesleigh. These are the ones taken by our friend, Jenny. She’s an amazing photographer. You should check out her stuff or even set up a sitting of your own – she’s really good. Anyway, you can find her at www.jhintze.com. You won’t be disappointed.
Just click the “pictures” tab to get rid of the filmstrip and then click the “right arrow” button to move through the gallery. If you want to see the whole image, click the lightbulb in the center of the pic.
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If you want to see the pics in a regular album, you can see it here: Kesleigh’s Professional Pics
My mom said that Kathy, my sister-in-law,wants to see more pictures of Kesleigh. So here ya go Kathy – I hope you enjoy them!!!
I uploaded an album from her first week home here: Kesleigh’s First Week.
Kasen loves his new baby sister.
The trembling hands awkwardly grasped the air. . . faithfully reaching into the unknown. I stood there again, behind the cold glass, looking in on my precious new baby. Kesleigh Anne was born last night around 11:03pm. It was now about 2:30am. The hospital halls were silent and I just watched. I watched my baby girl tremble. Her tiny hands grasping the air. . . groping for something. . . something she didn’t know or understand. It was a new world to her. Just hours earlier she had been protected within her mother. . .floating effortlessly in a forever nourished state. Now she was breathing with lungs which had never tasted air before. Her skin was drying and she was missing the touch of her mother as she lay in this cold plastic box. Unable to see yet, she reached out. . . . longing for a touch. . . . longing for something to comfort her.
I watched behind the glass. I felt so proud. Proud to be her father. Proud of her mother. And yet. . . there was something else underneath. . . something which took the edge off the pleasure of the moment. I was scared. Scared of responsibility. Fearful of what it would be like to have a 2nd child in the house. I imagined brushing her hair as a little girl and tucking her into bed at night. I imagined the day when I would one day walk her down the aisle and give her away. I wondered if I could do it. I wondered if God would give me the strength to be the father that she would need?
As she grasped the air, so did I. Trembling, I awkwardly stretched out my arms and decided to reach into the unknown. . . . longing for a touch. . . . longing for something to comfort me.
And God found me there once again.
