“It’s the difference between saying ‘I’m doing this because…’ or ‘I’m doing this so…'”
I heard the words coming out of my mouth but hadn’t really even processed them yet. Miranda and I were driving during the Christmas holidays and talking about chores for our kids. Let me explain:
“I’m doing thisbecause I love my family.” Internal Motivation – I want my kids to be motivated to express their love of our family by doing some chores.
“I’m doing thisso I can get paid.” External Reward – The other option is to give an external motivation like paying them.
So where are we? I know what I’d like for my children, but what works? I’m sure that the external reward would work if my only goal was to get the job done. But I want my kids to learn some responsibilities and know what it means to be a part of a family – to learn how to contribute to the family – to learn how to serve others and be motivated by their love rather than just some selfish motivation like a reward.
How do we make that work? I know that my example is the best way to teach a lesson, but where and how do I set expectations for them that will really convey this message and teach them what I really want them to know?
Ideas? Please post ’em in the comments section. I need all the help I can get.
I’m praying for a really long “hangover” this Christmas. Let me explain:
The Collins English Dictionary defines a hangover as “the delayed aftereffects of drinking too much alcohol…” A “Christmas Hangover” is what I’m calling that time after the annual family gathering/gift exchange when you experience the “aftereffects” of Christmas. Some of the typical symptoms of the Christmas Hangover include sleeping children (worn out from playing with new toys), a crash-&-burn-feeling when the post-meal sugar high subsides, and the soothing sound of an empty house after everyone leaves.
All of this got me thinking though. Are these the kinds of “Hangovers” we should experience after Christmas? If our celebration is truly centered on the birth of Jesus, then our “aftereffects” might be a little different. I want to experience a much longer hangover – one which is motivated by the proper response to the incarnation – one that reflects the fact that Emmanuel “God with Us” is here! The incarnation should be incarnated in my life as well. I want to be changed by my Christmas interactions with Jesus. And I want those changes to last throughout the year – forever. I want a long “Christmas Hangover.”
Prayer: Lord, let me be “hungover” with an overflow of the love you gave to us at Christmas. Let me be “intoxicated” by peace and “under the influence” of Your Spirit. May the “aftereffects” of your incarnation be incarnated in my life as well. AMEN.
PS – I don’t drink and never want to experience a “hangover” as it is normally defined.
It’s HUGE! Almost everyone I know is on it! (Except my mom.)
I once wrote a post about how organizations go through a series of changes. These are not my original ideas. They come from a guy named Floyd McClung. Anyway, Here are the steps:
1. It begins with a Man on a Mission.
2. It gains a following and excitement creates a Movement with momentum.
3. As the kinks are worked out, rules begin to govern the infrastructure and it becomes an efficient Machine.
4. In time, it becomes a Monument. People have particular expectations and the organization can’t deviate from it very far before they begin to lose patrons. The Monument becomes trapped between patron expectations and innovation. They usually begin protecting themselves from extinction by leaning in the direction of their patrons and will ultimately die. Their patrons will either move to another organization or die themselves.
Facebook seems to be making more Monument-type decisions. It’s my very uninformed opinion, (I certainly could be wrong.) but they seem to be out of the “innovation business” and instead are stealing Google+ innovations. (Circles, Hangouts, etc.) I also recently got a message saying they would no longer allow my blog to be converted into a Facebook note. These kinds of decisions look a lot like “Monument” decisions. It’s all about protecting their market share and hindering collaborative work because they want all the market. Like I said, I could be wrong, but it just looks and feels that way to me.
Interestingly, if enough others “feel” this way (whether it’s true or not), it could cause them to lose their market. I’m not planning on leaving facebook, but it’ not ’cause I like what they do – it’s cause they already have my network of people. It’s also interesting to note that once an organization is a Monument, it’s really only a matter of time before they die as well. I wonder what will capture the new market? Will Google+ step in or will there something even better around the corner?
Over the last couple of years, I’ve been praying for a job. I prayed that prayer for so long and with such desperation that I quit praying for smaller things. I was focused. I knew that God would provide, but as often as I was reminded of my situation, I prayed for it. And in the end, God proved Himself once again to be faithful as our provider.
However, now that my prayers aren’t as desperate, my prayer life has changed. I got out of the habit of praying for smaller things, cause I had one really big thing to pray about. It’s not that I didn’t believe God could do something about those smaller things, it’s just that I had different priorities. I wasn’t sweating the small stuff ’cause the BIG thing was overwhelming me.
As a result, I don’t find myself praying for the smaller things now either – I almost feel guilty doing so. I mean, I know other people in desperate situations too. How can I spend time praying for a better parking space or for there to be one more sausage biscuit in the fridge when I get up in the morning? When there are so many real issues, these things seem so trivial. But here’s what I’m discovering – well. . . discovering again: If I’m not praying for the little things, and I don’t have a BIG thing, then I’m simply not praying at all. And if I’m not praying at all, then I’m not growing closer to the LORD. Maybe these little prayers help me stay close to Him. Maybe they keep me grounded and remind me that He is ALWAYS present. He is Consistently Emmanuel – Always with me.
If I’m praying small prayers, ‘it’s cause I believe God is in control of everything and that He wants to be involved in the details of it all. I love when my kids ask me to help them put their shoes on or brush their teeth. Why wouldn’t God love to help us (His children) with our little things? Of course He would. He loves us. If He’s anything like me, not only does He enjoy helping, but He also feels honored to help. Maybe our asking Him to help us with the small things is another form of worship. If He is honored and glorified in it, then that sounds like worship to me.
Prayer: LORD, help me to prayer smaller prayers. I’m great at BIG desperate prayers, but need help when it comes to small things. You are always God – always sovereign – always concerned about Your kids. Teach me to come to You as a child and to honor You by praying crazy little prayers. AMEN.
I did a similar post about my kid’s command of the English language a few years back. This one focuses on Kesleigh’s words. I love listening in as she discovers new words and I want to capture these moments here so I can remember them later. I’ll never get these years back and once she learns to speak these words correctly, I know I’m gonna long to hear that cute little voice of hers saying things wrong again.
Anyway, here’s the list:
Quored = scored – “Kasen quored a goal.”
Lemalade = lemonade – “No root beer daddy, I want lemalade.”
Tab = crab
Fink = drink – “Get me a fink daddy.”
Peep = pee pee – “I need to go peep daddy.”
Chic a lay = ChickFila – “Let’s go to chic a lay daddy.”
My doggy = Peanut – She never calls him by his name, Peanut. She just always refers to him as “my doggy.”
Angee buds = angry birds
Fry = Cry – “I was fryin daddy.”
Bana = banana
Tookie = Cookie
Dirt = Dessert – “I ate all my dinner Daddy. Can I have dirt?”
Uh-hind = Behind
Birthday party = Birthday cake – “Daddy I want another piece of “birthday party.”
The other day, we were going by McDonald’s to get Kesleigh a sausage biscuit. She sang “Old McDonald had a farm E-I-E-I-O, and on this farm he had a paper E-I-E-I-O.” (She never really sings about animals on the farm, just random things she happens to see while she sings.)
Kesleigh also recently told me she wanted a sausage biscuit no biscuit. When I asked if she just wanted the sausage, she adamantly said, “NO daddy! I want a sausage biscuit with no biscuit.”
This is a side note, but last night Kasen told me he was ready to “rock and roll.” I have no idea where he learned that phrase, but I started singing the KISS song, “I wanna rock and roll all night and party every day!” After a few times, he joined me singing, “I wanna rock and roll all night and POTTY every day!” Ha ha!!!
I never finished this, but it was an idea for a poem or song or something to give to my children. It expresses the things I plan to share with my kids when I take them to visit Meridian State Park someday. I’ll tell them the story of how I came to know Jesus. I’m so excited about that day! These words capture some of the emotions I feel as I think about telling them.
Anyway, maybe I’ll finish it someday, but I wanted to go ahead and post something so I wouldn’t lose it.
Come let me show you this place, this place full of grace.
Come let me show you the spring where we sat and listened to the quiet
And the outcropping where we waterbombed the bus.
Let’s go walk the carpet of bluebonnets
and run past the bees on the trail of Mesquite
As a child I ran these trails and stepped on a snake
These vines scratched my legs but helped heal me too.
We played frisbee golf and waterballoon volleyball
Chased Bulldog to soak him
James Garner taught us the Scriptures under the tree.
Ross Senter spoke around the campfire.
Let me show you the grace in this place.
Come watch the horizon swallow the sun
Breathe in the lights. See the milky way run
From up on the ledge and above the lake
Lets watch the sky. and see the stars come awake.
Come hear distant voices from the lake down below
Let’s sit and sing and wait – take it slow
If we’re lucky we’ll see a star fall from space
Here in this place – this place full of grace
And this is where I sat and sang and cried
Around the campfire On the night I gave my life to Christ.
This place is so dear. It’s a place I want you to know
Whether this place or that place, I want you to have your own place full of grace.
“If A is a success in life, then A equals x plus y plus z. Work is x; y is play; and z is keeping your mouth shut.” – Albert Einstein
I love that Einstein includes “play” in his formula for success.
Play = work + play + keeping your mouth shut
I think our culture doesn’t value “play” enough. Although I’ve always believed play was important, as a father, I’m beginning to recognize it even more. My children are becoming who they are as they play. They learn how to interact with each other as well as how to interact with the world around them. When they play they develop their creative sides and grow their imaginations. They become inventors who search out solutions to problems and discover how things work.
If adults valued play more, I wonder how many would become innovators? If we “played” at our jobs instead of “working” at them, I believe our attitudes would be different and we’d even be more productive. We’d also have more friends at our workplaces.
I’ve had a little writer’s block lately – probably cause I’ve been focused on learning how to be a good wood shop teacher. Anyway, I was looking back at my “draft” posts today to see which ones I needed to work up and realized that I have about 30. I plan on posting a few of them this week just as they are – raw, unedited. They certainly aren’t my best work, but they still represent some of the ideas that run through my head. I don’t want to lose them, so beginning tomorrow, I think I’ll just post ’em. We’ll see how it goes. Let me know what you think.
“Working on my carpentry skills – wanna be like the Master!”
I just became the “Industrial Technology” teacher at Clute Intermediate and I’m excited about the possibilities! As a former Social Studies teacher who has very little experience in wood shop, I never imagined myself in this sort of position. However, I love students and I love creative pursuits. This might very well be the perfect position for me once I get my feet on the ground a bit.
My woodworking experience includes:
– Jr High Woodshop Class – cutting 100’s of designs for my mom as a Jr Higher (She painted and went to craft shows.) – Built skate ramps in High School as well as later on as a Youth Minister – Built speaker cabinets in High School – Built an entertainment center which we still use in my house today. – Built our current kitchen table as well as one for my first apartment many years ago. – Built wheelchair ramps, decks, and handrails for UM ARMY and Faith in Action camps throughout the years.
Anyway, I’ve certainly got some things to learn, but this will be a fun experience combining my creative side and my love for students. As I work on my carpentry skills, I also know God will be carving away at my character. There will be times when it’s painful, but I also know He’ll be there every step of the way. I pray that with every stroke of the hammer and swipe of the blade, He’ll be molding me into a better man. Someone who can truly reach these students. Someone who can be an incredible tool in His hand.
Jesus was the Master. He was able to challenge people where they were (much like a simple block of wood) and mold them into something more. He also puts people together and shows them how to connect to make them strong structures. He is able to take our “knots” and make them beautiful.
Prayer: Lord, teach me to be a great teacher. Allow me to get to know my students so I can truly teach them. Keep us all safe as we use these dangerous machines and let all our creative juices flow steadily. Guide my students hands as they use the equipment and as they paint – give them steady hands. Let them have fun in my class and help us all learn to work together. Allow us all to feel good about our experiences and the projects we build. Let them gain some confidence in who they are and in what they are capable of accomplishing. Use our time together to make us all stronger and better people. Allow me to represent You to my students and other teachers in ways that are appropriate. AMEN.