“It’s the difference between saying ‘I’m doing this because…’ or ‘I’m doing this so…'”
I heard the words coming out of my mouth but hadn’t really even processed them yet. Miranda and I were driving during the Christmas holidays and talking about chores for our kids. Let me explain:
“I’m doing this because I love my family.”
Internal Motivation – I want my kids to be motivated to express their love of our family by doing some chores.
“I’m doing this so I can get paid.”
External Reward – The other option is to give an external motivation like paying them.
So where are we? I know what I’d like for my children, but what works? I’m sure that the external reward would work if my only goal was to get the job done. But I want my kids to learn some responsibilities and know what it means to be a part of a family – to learn how to contribute to the family – to learn how to serve others and be motivated by their love rather than just some selfish motivation like a reward.
How do we make that work? I know that my example is the best way to teach a lesson, but where and how do I set expectations for them that will really convey this message and teach them what I really want them to know?
Ideas? Please post ’em in the comments section. I need all the help I can get.