Unexpected Emotion

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Miranda’s words triggered something in me. They cut deeply – a mixture of pain, sadness, thankfulness, and joy…….all evidence of true….LIFE.

She grinned as she spoke, “Oh….we can put something on the back!”

I hadn’t prepared myself for this moment. My mind was flooded with emotion. We had talked a few times about getting ourselves TBall shirts to support Kasen’s team, but this thought was new…unexpected.

In that split second, I remembered being embarrassed by my dad who wore a shirt with what seemed like a neon sign flashing “CORN’S POP” on the back. It was WAY over the top and as a teenager WAY embarrassing…..but then again, his love for me (and my brother and sister) was also WAY over the top.

Anybody wanna guess what I’ll have printed on the back of my TBall shirt?

PS: Pics coming as soon as the shirts arrive.

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Place of Grace – Meridian – for my children

I never finished this, but it was an idea for a poem or song or something to give to my children. It expresses the things I plan to share with my kids when I take them to visit Meridian State Park someday. I’ll tell them the story of how I came to know Jesus. I’m so excited about that day! These words capture some of the emotions I feel as I think about telling them.

Anyway, maybe I’ll finish it someday, but I wanted to go ahead and post something so I wouldn’t lose it.


This is a couple of years after I came to know Christ, but it still floods my mind with memories of that day. Lots of the same people in this pic.

Come let me show you this place, this place full of grace.
Come let me show you the spring where we sat and listened to the quiet
And the outcropping where we waterbombed the bus.
Let’s go walk the carpet of bluebonnets
and run past the bees on the trail of Mesquite
As a child I ran these trails and stepped on a snake
These vines scratched my legs but helped heal me too.

We played frisbee golf and waterballoon volleyball
Chased Bulldog to soak him
James Garner taught us the Scriptures under the tree.
Ross Senter spoke around the campfire.

Let me show you the grace in this place.

Come watch the horizon swallow the sun
Breathe in the lights. See the milky way run
From up on the ledge and above the lake
Lets watch the sky. and see the stars come awake.

Come hear distant voices from the lake down below
Let’s sit and sing and wait – take it slow
If we’re lucky we’ll see a star fall from space
Here in this place – this place full of grace

And this is where I sat and sang and cried
Around the campfire On the night I gave my life to Christ.

This place is so dear. It’s a place I want you to know
Whether this place or that place, I want you to have your own place full of grace.

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Miranda – Draft Written in Nov 2009

I really believe that the most amazing woman in the world has married me. We’re coming up on 6 years of marriage and I’m more and more amazed by her each day. Let me tell you about the her most recent extravagant efforts: As many of you know, we’re going through a tough time right now. I need to find a way to support my family by January due to some financial troubles in our church. (They’re making all full-time positions part-time – due to finances, not performance.) Anyway, God had been making it clear to me that He wants me to begin moving in some different directions. I chose not to say anything to Miranda for a couple of reasons. 1. I have come to understand that women need to feel secure. Stability and consistency are highly valued among them. 2. All my contacts and my reputation is in youth ministry. I could probably get a youth ministry job relatively easily. 3. The timing was horrible – I just lost my job and it would not have been smart to tell her that I was planning on seeking another position the hard way.

Here’s what’s so amazing about her though: I came home from work one day about a month ago and she sat me down saying that she had been praying and God had revealed something to her. She went on to explain that she would be willing to let go, even lose our house and sacrifice/scale back on our living expenses in order to wait for the “right” position. She knew that God was leading me elsewhere and wanted to give me the freedom to chase the lion that she knew I was being called to.

Whew!!. . . For me, this was incredible! I was feeling tons of pressure to “provide” for her and the kids in the same ways that I had been doing so for the past few years and yet I also knew that this new calling would probably mean we’d have to make some sacrifices. I have the most amazing bride!!! One who seeks God and who is willing to follow Him even when it’s hard to make sense of the things He’s calling us to do. She not only came to those decisions, but also recognized that out of my love for our family, I was in an awkward position – wanting to provide and wanting to follow God. So she took care of it. Before my stress grew too large to handle – even before I came to the place where I needed to find a way to tell her what I was feeling, she alleviated the stress. She is good. I love her more today than any other day. I know we’re probably going to see some hard times ahead, but I wouldn’t want to go into these uncertain times with anyone else. I’m so blessed to be able to walk through this life with her by my side.

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Pelicans and Leadership

Recently, I had the privilege to join some friends (Thanks Shelby’s!) at their bay house. It’s a beautiful place and a perfect place to “get away” a bit.

I don’t think I’ve ever really sat and watched pelicans diving for fish before. They fly up high to get a good wide perspective and scan for prey. When they see something they circle to get a good angle and then dive with abandon. Recklessly even. They aren’t very graceful – just effective. In order to survive, they must do this regularly – every day even.

I wonder what leaders can learn from pelicans? Do we escape our normal routines and seek out “high places” where we can get good perspectives? Do we continually scan for new opportunities? Do we work to get a good angle and then dive recklessly? Are we so afraid of being ungraceful that we just continue to circle without ever diving? Do we get comfortable enough that we stop working this process or do we do it daily?

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Shadow

I love this picture I took of Kasen and I the other day. I love seeing him riding alongside daddy’s shadow. I wish you could hear the sounds he was making at this very moment. He was laughing and smiling as he just enjoyed being with daddy and doing tricks on his bike. It’s my prayer that he always loves being near daddy’s shadow. And even more importantly, I pray that he will one day realize that it’s God’s shadow that he should seek to be near.  I can’t help but think about Psalm 36, “People take refuge in the shadow of your wings.” When no one else is near, when no one else can help, when no one else can protect or give him comfort, God can. I pray that he enjoys being with God like he enjoyed being with daddy that day. If so, his laughter and smiles will be more than laughter and smiles. They will be an offering of praise to the Lord. I couldn’t help but smile that day and I believe God will smile with him too.


P.S.
Riding bikes is one of our favorite things to do. At 3, Kasen rides over a mile to the store to get a snack with daddy and then back home. He’s been riding without training wheels since the week of his 3rd birthday and is even beginning to do “tricks” these days. (like riding with one hand, coasting with no feet, putting his feet on the forks of the front wheel, or standing up and riding)

 

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