Using the “standing stones” in Joshua 4, “Listening to the “Stories of Others” is a summary of some classic listening skills as described in the Bible, plus a deeper idea encouraging another layer of listening for Christ followers. This is the 3rd and final message in our “Everyone Has a Story” series following “God’s Story,” and “Your Story.”
Good morning. Today I get to talk about stories. This is one of my favorite things about Brazos Pointe. We have a culture of sharing stories. You just heard Abby’s 3-word story. We hear stories when someone is baptized. Randy and Greg share stories almost every Sunday. We even have a culture of sharing stories before meetings. Brazos Pointe is a story telling place and I love it!! It’s always good for me to hear the things God is doing.
I’ll be sharing the last piece of the “Everyone has a Story” series. The first week we learned about God’s story – how He designed the world and had a good plan, how we sinned and accidentally invited death and destruction into it, and how He made a way for us to return to His original plan through His son Jesus.
The second week, Randy showed us how our personal stories crash into God’s story and he introduced us to the idea of structuring our own stories around 3 words. The first word represents our life before Jesus, the second how we surrendered to Jesus, and the third word is about how our lives have been changed.
This week, we’re going to talk about other people’s stories. How should we listen and engage in the stories of the people around us?
By the way, if you are in one of our small groups, you are going to practice this rhythm this week. You’ll be sharing your story and listening to the stories of others together. It’s a powerful experience and we’re excited about it. If you aren’t in a group. . .
So. . . I’ll be sharing a message about listening to the stories of others and let me just say, “The irony here is not lost on me.” I’m the preacher, the talker, who is going to get up and tell you about listening. I do however want you to know, that I am preaching to myself today. I’m not a very good listener either. Don’t believe me? Ask my wife.
I’m going to start today with some rocks.
I brought these rocks today, but they are more than just rocks. These rocks have a story. 21 years ago, people were given a rock as they filed into a worship center. During the service, they were asked to hold the rock and pray for Miranda and I. It was our wedding day. Today, these rocks sit in our living room and remind us of all the support we have for our marriage. When we have fights, we can literally see the prayer that covers us. We are reminded of the commitment we made to God and remember “in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer. . . when I love her and when I hate her. . .” They are there to remind me. These are rocks, but they come with a story, and you guys needed me to interpret that story for you. You would have just seen rocks today if I hadn’t interpreted the story for you. You needed me to explain why they are more than just rocks. Now, you are able to see the significance though.
We find this same idea in the Bible:
Before we begin reading, let me just tell you this amazing story. God used Moses to bring His people, the Israelites out of slavery in Egypt. They wandered around in the desert on the way to the land that God promised them. God gave them the 10 commandments. Moses died and Joshua became the leader. They are about to enter the promised land, but first, must cross the Jordan River. The river is at flood stage, so crossing is next to impossible, but God gives them a plan. He tells the priests to lead the group by stepping into the river and when they do, the water stops flowing from somewhere upstream. They are all able to cross over on dry ground. This miracle reminded the people of what God had done through Moses with the Red Sea 40 years earlier. God worked it out so the people would be able to fully trust Joshua as their new leader. Turn with me to Joshua 4.
Joshua 4:1-6, 21-24
1When the whole nation had finished crossing the Jordan, the LORD said to Joshua, 2“Choose twelve men from among the people, one from each tribe, 3and tell them to take up twelve stones from the middle of the Jordan, from right where the priests are standing, and carry them over with you and put them down at the place where you stay tonight.”
4So Joshua called together the twelve men he had appointed from the Israelites, one from each tribe, 5and said to them, “Go over before the ark of the LORD your God into the middle of the Jordan. Each of you is to take up a stone on his shoulder, according to the number of the tribes of the Israelites, 6to serve as a sign among you.
(skip down to vs 21)
21He said to the Israelites, “In the future when your descendants ask their parents, ‘What do these stones mean?’ 22 Notice this question. tell them, ‘Israel crossed the Jordan on dry ground.’ 23For the LORD your God dried up the Jordan before you until you had crossed over. The LORD your God did to the Jordan what he had done to the Red Sea when he dried it up before us until we had crossed over. 24He did this so that all the peoples of the earth might know that the hand of the LORD is powerful and so that you might always fear the LORD your God.”
Do you see it? These 12 standing stones come with a story. They aren’t enough on their own. They don’t speak for themselves. These later generations will ask “What do these stones mean?” This is their own story, a story from their own people, but they still need someone who knows the story to help them understand. They need an interpreter. The stones are there to make future generations curious. . . to make them begin asking questions, but the stones are only effective when someone who knows the story, explains it. The rocks need an interpreter.
Just like my wedding rocks. There’s no way you could have known just by looking at the rocks.
Here’s why I share all this: I believe there are standing stones, markers, hints, and evidence of God’s work all around us. I also believe God is at work in and among all of us – Christ followers and those who don’t know Him yet.
Matthew 5:45 – “God causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.”
God’s common graces are extended to everyone despite how we relate to Jesus. Whether we know Him or not. Whether we are committed to Him or not. He blesses us all. As Randy shared a couple weeks ago, we were all created by God and we all bear His image. This is His first grace to all of us, but there is so much more:
- He created and sustains this incredible world
- He makes the sun shine, the rains fall, and gives us seasons.
- He has given us a beautiful world that provides food and materials for shelter and all kinds of blessings – like cake and waterslides.
- We are all given different gifts and abilities
- freedom and ability to make choices.
- He gave us all a sense of morality – right and wrong.
- He gives, he gives, and He gives.
Anyway, here’s the point: God has blessed everyone – Christ followers and those who don’t know Him yet. All of us have standing stones. There is evidence all around us of God’s work in our lives. God’s common graces are given to everyone. We all know the gifts of God. We all have rocks in our lives. God leaves evidence behind wherever He goes. Sometimes we just need someone else to help us see it or understand it. I mean think about it . . .Even the people who don’t know Jesus actually still know His gifts. They just haven’t made the connection yet to know the “Giver.” This is why our job as interpreters is so important. We want to point them to the Giver.
Now, let’s think about this in the context of our message series. The first week we learned about God’s Story. Last week was about our own story. And this week, it’s about listening to the stories of others.
The question is: How should we listen?
Does the Bible give us any direction for listening?
I put together a “Listening List.”
- First, Be an engaged and trustworthy listener.
- Proverbs 2:2 – Make your ear attentive. . .
We can’t be hermits. We’ve got to be engaged in people’s lives and we need to be able to earn their trust. I mean, no one shares important stories with people they don’t trust. People need to know how much we care before they will be vulnerable with us and we might need to be a little vulnerable with them to earn their trust too. Oh, and by the way, being engaged for me, means that I’ve got get rid of the biggest distraction in my life. . . I’ve got to put my phone down.
- Second, Be a caring and concerned listener.
- Proverbs 20:5 – The purposes of a person’s heart are deep waters, but one who has insight draws them out.
We’ve got care enough to slow our lives down and to listen well. Give them your attention. When I was a youth minister, we were on a mission trip in Mexico and had been working on a difficult physical labor type of project all day. We got back on the bus for an hour drive back to where we were staying and across the aisle was a young girl. She started talking to me across the aisle as I stared blankly out the window. I was worn out and tired and wasn’t paying much attention to her. At some point during our drive, she realized it and jumped over to my side of the bus, grabbed my cheeks in her two hands and said, “Listen with your eyes!” She caught me, but she was right. I should have been listening and if I had been looking at her, it would have made a difference. Anyway, good listeners, look for insight by listening beyond their words. “Listen” to their emotional and physical cues as well. Do you hear pain in their tone of voice? What’s their body language saying? Do you sense deep sadness or are they speaking from a solid spiritual foundation? Listen to it all.
- Third, Listen to understand, NOT to respond.
- Proverbs 18:23 – He who answers a matter before he hears it — this is folly and disgrace to him.
- James 1:19 – be quick to listen and slow to speak.
This is critical. If you try to help without truly hearing, you’re walking into trouble. A response will come later, but in the moment, we are all ears – we just listen. My mom used to say, “You’ve got 2 ears and only one mouth. Listen twice as much as you talk.”
Now, this is where my list takes a little turn. Everything up to this point has been mostly classic listening skills, but the next two ideas on my list apply only to Christ followers. This is where it all gets really interesting.
- Listen with genuine care and concern, but also Listen for evidence of God’s work. Notice the standing stones.
- John 5:17 – Jesus said to them, “My Father is always at his work.
Knowing that God is always working, we should be people who are always on the lookout for the things He is doing. If we recognize His work in someone else’s story, we can point out the standing stones, the symbols, hints, and evidence that God leaves behind. Ask yourself, what is He doing or what does He want to be done?
- Andy Stanley, a pastor, author, and Christian leader, has a great tool for listening too. He says we should:
- Listen for the “3 nots.”
In your everyday conversations listen for these 3 phrases:
- NOT in church. . .
- NOT going well. . .
- NOT prepared for. . .
These are all standing stones too. If someone says any one of these things, there is a story attached to it. These words are markers telling us that God is at work:
Examples:
“Not in church. . .” – If someone is talking about their kids sports schedule and says, “We aren’t really involved in church right now. . .” That’s your hint. God is at work. I mean, at least they’re interested? Right? And they’re feeling a little convicted because God is at work showing them that they need community. The conviction is His gift. That’s how He is working. Invite them to join you in church or encourage them to make connections with other Christ followers.
“Not going well. . .” – If someone else says, “Things just aren’t going well with the demands of taking care of my aging parents.” That’s an opportunity for you to interpret their story a little differently than they may see it themselves. Point them to the ways God is working and the ways God can use them. God has given them the chance to spend this incredible time with their parents. Maybe this struggle is God’s way of making them aware of their personal needs and He is helping them see that they need to take a break? God is at work even when things are hard.
“Not prepared for. . .” – If someone says, “We just weren’t prepared when my husband lost his job,” they might be feeling hurt and vulnerable, but look for the standing stones. They are there, ‘cause God is still at work. God is teaching them to trust Him. God could also be breaking ties because He has another place He needs them to be. God’s work in this conversation, might be that He is calling you, the listener, to respond with a gift or get involved in some other way. Maybe you are the connection they need for their next job? God is always at work. There are always standing stones.
Anytime someone uses one of these “Not” phrases, we can be assured that God is speaking to them saying, “You can’t do this on your own. You need me. Draw near to me. I’m knocking on the door.” This is a call to come back to Jesus. God is wooing them back to Himself.
Here’s my encouragement: Listen with a purpose. Listen to understand and care for others. But also listen to interpret. This is how you care for them. Listen and pay attention to God’s work in the story. Notice and point out the standing stones, God’s work. The storyteller will probably never say “What do these stones mean? It will probably sound more like “Why did this happen?” or the statement “I just can’t believe. . .”
But these are questions. They are seeking to understand. And all of a sudden we are right back to our story with the Israelite children. Man, if people ask about the stones in their story, God is giving you a huge opportunity. Tell them how God’s story is colliding with theirs. Interpret their story so they can see how God is working on their behalf. Attach God’s story to their standing stone – whatever it might be. As God’s people, His family, we have the privilege to see the world differently. We get to see a world created and sustained by God – a world where He is intimately and actively involved in caring for each and every one of us. As Christ-followers, it’s our responsibility and privilege to help others see His hand at work too. We are interpreters.
Here’s what I mean:
If someone tells a story about a near miss, or a crisis averted, we need to recognize the standing stone. In that moment, we must help them see it by interpreting the story. Instead of saying, “Whoa! That’s crazy. You were so lucky,” you might say, “Whoa! God must have been looking out for you.”
The story you attach to the incident might be different than their own, but that’s sort of the point. We have the opportunity and should strive to Guide others to see their stories through the lens of God’s undeniable presence and blessing.
This is what interpreters do. They help others understand what they couldn’t know otherwise. This is what I tried to do with my wedding stones. This is what God wanted His people to do with the standing stones. According to the passage, they were there so others would “know that the hand of the Lord is powerful.” As His people, we carry his story, and He has placed us to be His interpreters.
Oh, and by the way, what happens when an actual, language interpreter doesn’t listen well? Miscommunication. Right? Confusion. Misunderstanding. We’ve got to listen well if we’re going to be good interpreters.
A good interpreter is a bridge between two languages. As Christ -followers, that’s exactly where we are: We are a bridge between the world we live in and God’s world. And each one of us has the unique ability, and we have been perfectly placed in the relationships and positions that we have to be bridges to God. Listen to that again: You have been perfectly placed. God has given you the relationships that you have, and the positions that you have to be a bridge to Him. We think our stories aren’t worth telling because they don’t seem exciting or dramatic, but God has placed each of us in the positions we are in, and the relationships that we have, because He knows that our stories and our way of telling His story is exactly what is needed to reach the specific people that He has placed around us. We know God’s story and we can see His blessings in the stories of people around us. Let’s introduce them to each other and translate for them – explaining God’s story in all the ways we see it. The more we do this, the more they’ll “learn the language” and begin seeing God’s work themselves. Let’s get them talking without us being in between. The ultimate goal is for them to have their own relationships without us as interpreters. It’s an amazing and beautiful thing that God is inviting us to be a part of this. It’s truly a privilege, but it requires surrender. We must take up our cross and follow Him if we’re truly going to steward these connections.
I want to close today with our prayer of surrender. Will you pray with me? Will you surrender with me? Let’s pray.
Dear God,
I surrender my whole self.
I surrender my fears, my assumptions, and my comfort.
Help me be bold and confident in You.
Grow my love for those who need Jesus.
Help me to steward my connections and my story.
Amen.